Today’s Assignment: Kick Some Ass!

The worst driving in America is going on in school zones and unfortunately, I live smack in the middle of one. Despite miles-long, snail's-paced school zones, police presence, crossing guards, crosswalks, stop signs, flashing lights, radar guns, and the basic traffic laws we live with every day, a school zone is perhaps the most likely place on the road that you will be killed. Either by some ½ awake, self-important parent trying to force their way to the front of the line, or by me, if you are such a parent.

Build a school and suddenly the roads around it are no longer governed by traffic law; they are a chaotic free-for-all in which parents, day cares, nannies, and bus drivers wrestle for position. The rules of the road are completely ignored. Want to make a U-turn in your not-at-all-mini mini van? Go for it. Want to stop where there is no stop sign? Why not? Want to pull up along side of people creating a 4-lane road where once there was a 2-lane road? Only if your late for a really important meeting.

This morning a woman actually pushed her child in front of my car. She looked, saw me, and decided to walk out in front of me anyway. I guess she pushed the kid out ahead of her as some sort of shield assuming I wouldn't hit a kid. In any other scenario, pushing a kid out in front of a moving car is abuse and the state is coming to get that kid. But today, in this lawless expanse of school zone, it is not given a second thought. As mom passed in front of my car she stuck her hand out, palm to my face as if she had the authority to tell me to stop. I really, REALLY wanted to drive straight up her ass, but no matter how much your mom sucks you still probably don't want to watch her get mowed down on a public street when you're six.

Which leads me to another point. In this educational environment, what is all this teaching the kids who inevitably witness this on a daily basis? When the parking lot is full of pushy, rude, self-centered adults all fighting to be the first one to get their kid to the front door, why should these kids believe their teachers when they get inside and are told that to be "good" we must stand in line, wait our turn, share with others and be polite? That's a bit of a mixed message if you ask me.

So just a message for anyone who may be reading this and is also in charge of getting the little ones off to school… You may be close to the situation to notice; it may be impossible for you to see the forest when you are one of the trees, so I will tell you what I see from the outside. You are teaching your kids more on that drive than they will learn all day in the classroom. What you teach them is up to you.