green

Devastatingly beautiful. That's what she was. Fit together in a disjointed way that never seemed awkward, she was full where men wanted her to be and thin in the places that made women stare with envy. Her beauty was in her bones. It would not be denied. It pushed through and spilled out and got all over everything nearby. Devastating. She was beautiful in a way that made me think about the words one should use to describe her, instead of thinking of myself at all. I must have known, even then, that if I had stacked myself up against her I would lose in an instant. Devastating. She would speak and I would be the only one who heard it. Everyone else was enchanted. Mesmerised. I was devastated. When she spoke she showed everything. Her insecurities, her weakness, her utter ignorance. But it all remained a secret, hidden behind striking red hair and lips that looked like you could curl up on them and take a nap. No one would ever know the truth until she had bagged some rich husband and had a couple of decades invested. Someday she would start to lose her looks and only then would the poor bastard finally hear her and realize she had nothing else to offer. It would be too late then. For all of us. I couldn't be angry or indignant; to be honest, I wanted her too. I melted into the wall behind me; dissolved away, not wanting to distract anyone during their time of worship. Before I had begun to fight I knew that I would lose. So I observed. I saw them as subjects in a sociological experiment. Animals. I was a scientist. And she was beautiful. Head-to-toe, every-time-you-see-her, it-doesn't-even-matter-that-god-made-her-stupid, devastatingly beautiful.