man's best friend

A whisp of a man sits starring into his whiskey.
His best friend sits across the pine picnic table, sipping a beer.
"She wants the house," he says.
"Fuck that, man!" his buddy coaches.
This is how men show support.
"Naw, I don't care; just want it over with," he says.
"She wants her ring back too."
"Dude, NO WAY. SHE cheated on YOU!"
"I told her she could have it if she bought me two tickets to the game next time the Chiefs are in town."
His friend is silent for a moment, but then cannot stand it anymore.
"Pawn the ring and buy your own fucking tickets, man. SCREW HER."
He swallows what's left of his whiskey and his pride.
"She's a good woman. I still love 'er. I'd die for her man, we just can't be together."
"You gotta draw the line somewhere. What's it gonna be next? Your truck? Your boat? Your dog?"
"Hell no, man; I'd have her killed before I gave her my dog."
His buddy nods in agreement and mumbles "fair enough."