If I had a hammer...

There's a girl in my department who thinks she just won a million dollars. She knows that somewhere in her car is the Boardwalk piece in from the McDonald's Monopoly game and her sister swears she has Park Place. So they are each going to find their piece and then go together to their local Mickey D's to claim their prize.

Mind you, this is the same girl who believed she had won a different sweepstakes two months ago. All she had to do was give the person running it her checking account info so they could send her a direct deposit. But of course, she had to wait 90 days before she could withdraw it or there was a penalty. And then there was the little matter of the processing fee. And taxes. And eventually, she was forced to close that account and switch banks. But she remains unfazed. She holds onto hope.

So all day long today she is on the phone.
"Did you find Park Place?..... I am gonna go home and get Boardwalk after work..... but my husband may have taken it......it might be in my purse..... or my son might have brought it to show and tell..... OF COURSE I promise I will find it..... I'm not an idiot.... It's a MILLION DOLLARS!!!!"
And I have no choice but to listen because she is 6 feet away on a cell phone.

Being the wonderful person that I am, I am trying my best not to stab her in the soft palette, but my patience is wearing thin. I want to jump over this little cubicle half-wall and beat her with her stapler until she becomes as cynical and jaded as I am.

Alas, I think that falls under the heading of "unprofessional behavior" and is thereby grounds for termination. But if she can hang on to her dreams, I can hang on to mine.