Friday, April 18, 2008

Grande, Non-fat, Caramel/French Vanilla, Decaf Madness

When I order a cup of coffee, you know what I want? A cup of coffee. I want beans, water and hot. I do not want to try your new blend that is lightly sweetened with the milk from an Amazon monkey's teat. I do not want a liquefied cinnamon bun or a melted candy bar, or any other such dessert in a paper cup. I do not want to have to learn Italian to order. And I most especially do not want you adding cream and sugar to my coffee FOR me without my knowledge or consent. Whomever the asshat at McDonald's this morning was who took the lid off of my coffee and dumped in five creams and twelve sugars instead of just tossing them in the bag owes me a cup of coffee. Beans. Water. Hot.
Since I drank hot sugared milk instead of coffee this morning, I do not have the energy to rant anymore. If you find me passed out somewhere today. Please either let me sleep or give me coffee. And by coffee, I mean coffee. Just so we're clear.

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